I'm back just in time for the new year. I figured DA was having such a great sale that I'd take advantage of it. Here's what I've been up to this past year:


- February: I was laid off from my job. It turns out that A. I'm not easily replace. B. Monkeys can't do my job. Go figure.
- February: My sister moved in with me - that was a dumb DUMB idea!
- March: Doctors finally clue in to what's wrong with me health wise
- April: Started selling off my stuff to which my sister offered to pay for my stuff. DUMB DUMB idea to have ever have believed her. Now I'm $6,000 in the hole.
- May: I had surgery to get my Gall Bladder removed
- June: Recovered slowly by spending an awful lot of time over at my friends place only because the terrors were driving me insane and liked to rile me up enough to make me move and pop my stitches...little did they know that I heal insanely fast.
- July: My sister let me know that she can no longer pay her half of the rent. I blow a gasket and decide to finalize some pressing commitments even though I have no safety net in place.
- August: I ran away from home. 25 years old - running away from my own place seems a bit counter intuitive but I just couldn't get her to leave. I met my long time friend for the first time and his family who seem baffled by the fact that we don't seem nervous with each other.
- September: Happy b-day to me! 26 years old! I land two short contracts, one of which STILL hasn't paid me.
- October: I moved into my new place in Aberdeen Scotland. Everything seems to be falling apart and i have several misadventures with appliances which makes me feel even more of duffus.
- December: Still struggling to find decent paying work. Fighting with family to actually pay up what they owe me - never going to happen i know.

For in-depth details refer to: My Travel Log

Commissions are Closed until January!
Have a project in mind but not sure if I'd do it? Drop me a note.

Writing: I'm at 50% complete so roughly 60,000 word down. I'm happy with the over all story an dhow it's getting all meaty and stuff, it just feels like it's taking forever, but in retrospect it's not liek I'm dedicating my days to it. If I'm lucky i can force myself to write for 4hrs, and that just once a week.

3D: Nothing new on this front. With no books to guide me I have to rely on on-line tutorial and Demos to force my skill level. Right now I'd rather work on my writing.

Drawing: Not going as well as I had hoped. I plan on starting a character/drawing a day challenge for a year - who knows maybe I'll stick to it.

Digital Work: You can find some updated projects such as my demo reels and such on my Sketch Blog if you're keen to poke around.

Web Comic: I have a full script that still needs to be edited, but I've started layout for it. I'd liek to do something conclusive with this in the new year, but we'll see how my time management skills work out for me.

My Sub dies sometime this week, so I'm taking the time to say what needs to be said. I don't want to have to re-do all the hard work I put into building my CSS Page, (though I'm likely to build something new the next time I get around to buying a Sub) and given my current not working situation I can't exactly afford a new one. This is not good bye - just a "I'm going to be cery quiet after this."

I WILL BE:
- Posting on DA various Artworks and Articles as they come
- Accepting Commission Work always
- Carrying on with Life Drawing/Studies
- Carrying on Learning and Improving in 3D
- Continue Writing my Novel - currently at 30,000 words (I want to publish this year)
- I will be carrying on with Artistic Guide who also has no Sub so I'm strictly reviewing Art
- I can crit artwork through this account too - makes no difference to me.

If you want to keep track of me and my various projects peek in at
Author's Blog - Where I usually bitch about my book and discuss plot changes and the general frustration of evolving Ideas
Sketch Blog - Where I try to post only Finished Work and lovely Finished Sketches
Random What-Nots - Usually where I beat out my frustrations in life

My email for anyone who cares is astraldaamon@gmail.com

If any new projects get started I'm sure you'll see something in one of my blogs or being submitted here - more info would be found in the Notes section of the piece.

Commissions are always Open!
Have a project in mind but not sure if I'd do it? Drop me a note.

Writing: 7,000+ Words a week. Which is only an hour a day for me now. I'm still hating my first draft but loving the story. More info can be found at my Author's Blog I usually post something weekly.

3D: Building skills in 3D Architechtural Visualization and eventually in Character Animation. I still want to learn ZBrush and re-learn Maya - but 3Ds Max will do for now.

Drawing: 1hr Drawing Sessions a day that consist of Gesture Drawing. I want to eventually do a character/drawing a day challenge for a year, Or even complete the 100 theme challenge.

Digital Work: You can expect to see more of these as I practice, they will range from commission work to portraits to my own personal work. More on all my Artwork can be found on my Sketch Blog

Other Projects:
- I want to start a Web Comic within the next year or so
- I want to start publishing yearly Sketch Books one in Colour and the other as Raw Sketches
- Finish Writing my Articles
- Finally Get a job in my field in Scotland -.- they need more animation Studios.
- I'm sure that there are others.

If I would say anything it was absolute crap.
For better or worse lessons were learned and paths were set.
I saw changes in the lives of the people around me, while I only experienced change in my personality. I grew stronger and more driven, yet colder and more bitter. I felt my mind change from a clumsy tool seeking desperately for a piece of the puzzle, an answer to why this was all happening, to becoming a willful master of my own Destiny. Stop me for now, but eventually you will bow before my Will.
I trust a little less – though I desperately want to be able to never doubt a person’s intentions or word. I never really could go that far to begin with. But now I can’t help but think “How could you possibly fuck this up for me?” and sure enough I get an answer and learn again that I’m just too accommodating for other people. I learn what about me? Why do I have to be so unhappy to make you happy?
I learned how strong I really am. In this dark time when I saw no hope, I sought the light. I knew it was always there it was a matter of finding it, and so I did. Linger in despair for no longer than a couple of months, but move on! Exist if you have to, but only for a couple of month, then live again. Depression ended up taking its toll on my health, and though I feel the eerie beginnings of overworking myself, I have come a long way from my nightly torture to not having to suffer seriously for several months now. I’m reminded to relax from time to time. Yes it’s important to push ahead, but it’s important to have fun from time to time.
I know that I’m being taken advantage of, so now I feel it is time that I take advantage of them. I make no secret of when I feel treated unfairly or when I’m over worked, and if they fail to heed my warnings, I find myself abusing the situation. I don’t feel entitled to do so. But I have learned to treat others as they have treated me.
I am touched by my distant relatives, who treat me as one of their own, when my own family only bothers with me when they want something from me. I’ve decided that when I leave, my efforts to keep in touch will be kept at a bare minimum. There’s no reason to be apart of a family who wouldn’t have me to begin with. Too different, too conservative, too fixated on a greater future than on the family drama.
I know that in life I can get what I want. Now it is time to prove it!

I can only pray that 2009 is better. I’ve worked so hard for these past two year only to watch it all slip away. Though I honestly can’t see that happening, even in the event of the loss of my current employment; I would see it as a sign to move on. I may not want to move to another city such as Toronto or Ottawa, though I would if I had to. I’d prefer to move to my intended destination – Scotland. Even then, if it’s not possible I would settle for nearly anywhere in the UK. Soon I will be trying again, and hopefully I will hear something from the intended company. Never have I tried to so hard to get what I wanted. Hopefully, I will be happier with this new job (I’m told a job change for me is inevitable anyway. I wonder if that’s true).
Family wise… I’m probably better off without them. They’ve proven to be less than supportive of anything I’ve attempted to accomplish over these past few years. Any words that would have been supportive were always muttered in a sneer or as some sarcastic slap in the face. At this time I feel it wise to indulge in certain selfish behaviors, if only for my own survival. Some people simply cannot be helped.
For my own personal gains, I want to increase my skills in drawing/painting, finish my novel, and start my graphic novel or web comic. All very time consuming things to accomplish in one year. I wonder though, if I remain in this icy pit I refer to as my personal Hell (or limbo or purgatory depending on my mood), will I ever see the advancement or completion of these tasks? Or will I find myself consumed once more in attempting to sever the chains of my bondage. I hope for my own personal frame of mind that I do find my freedom, because I honestly don’t know how well I’d handle yet another year of putting my life on hold.

Increase Commission Work
Build on Character Designs and Style
Learn Character Modelling (with Confidence)
Be in finishing stages of novel The Awakening: Dreamscape
Develop Drawing Skills
Develop Painting Skills
Live in Scotland
Find Permenant work in Scotland that pays well and treats me well
Start a Traveling Blog/Dairy to keep in touch with family who cares
Travel - see more of the country
Get G2 licence ....if I'm still in Canada *shudder*

Drawn: 0 / 7 hours
Portfolio: 7+hrs needed 20+ pieces

I found a nice little tut that turned out to be a massive chore. I'm learning a lot and hopefully that will help increase the speed at which I work and the effecientcy of future pieces. I'm nearly done modeling a couple of rooms and one outdoor piece. It comes as a major relief that my attention to detail in these particular cases have not been my undoing. I may have to re-do a room, but I will see if I can force it visually at this time and re-work it at a later time. One project is on hold on account of my irrational fear of Splines...mainly due to my lack of control/mastery over the tool. After completing this current tut, I feel more confident in working interiors. My next tut I hope to learn more about nurbs and hopefully my next couple of pieces will demonstrate what I have learned. I have 96 hours of my free time to put in before I have to send out a portfolio. God Help Me.

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks. I’ve been helping out newbies as they need a place to stay while they find places of their own. This works out well for me as I don’t like the idea of roommates, however I noticed that I’m not saving anything or paying down my debt due to expenses, which means that I may very well have to bite the bullet. Or really try hard at getting commission work.

I had a serious discussion with our new director and came to the conclusion that my portfolio needs an overhaul. Pretty much everything that’s there needs to be gone. I’m sad to see all of my hard work be essentially called crap, but he seems to have loads of confidence that I can do better. I wish I had the same confidence.

Basically he left me with this. I have 8 months before I leave (or before he’ll hook me up with one of his contacts). In this time I should be able to fine tune two major skills. So he says to me – choose a Major and a Minor. Choose what you are good at and what you love to do. Versatility is great but I’ll never become a Master since I’m spreading myself too thin. If you’re good enough you don’t have to worry about work.

I chose 3D modelling (though I need to chose a secondary skill to this) and Concept Art. It’s what I WANT and what I LOVE.

Zbrush – and promptly tossed it in a corner until I get tutorials on it. I don’t find it very intuitive and I don’t think that my brain works like that of a sculptor

Maya – This is industry standard. If I can work this one I should be able to work 3ds Max. I’ve done a few things with it, but I really ought to focus on modeling instead of animation

3ds Max – got a copy just this week. No tuts on it yet, so I’ll focus on Maya

BGs – I bought a ton of books on architecture to help me not only learn, but to visualize and build my BGs (through practice of course.)

Anatomy – got a bunch of books given to me. Will follow up with that.

All in all I’m trying to put in an hour a day for drawing until it becomes a habit again.